AKO NA ANG NAGSASABI

Hindi mo ako mahal

Baka napapasaya lang kita

Kasi puwede mo akong kausapin

Sa lahat ng bagay 

Tulad ng tama ba ang corporal punishment o hindi?

Sirena ba talaga yung nakita ng mga scientists o joke lang?

Hanggang sa, anong latest music ng banda na 'to

Tapos na-alala ko nga, napunta pa tayo sa usapang UFO at Conspiracy Theory

Nagsasalungat tayo ng mga ideya pero masarap ka pa ring kapalitan ng ideya

Sabi nila, "opposites attract" daw 

Pero baka hanggang attraction lang

Hindi naman lahat ng attraction nagtatagal, diba?

Kaya hindi mo ako mahal

Baka ako lang yung nagkakataon na online 'pag online ka rin

Tapos sakto na-seen ko yung message mo

Tapos ayun, doon na nagsisimula

Stickers, cheesy lines, links sa mga paborito mong kanta at kung anu-ano pa

Nakakakilig, nakakatawa, nakakainis

Pero hindi mo ako mahal

Baka masaya ka lang na may kalandian ka

Ako kasi 'yung tipo ng tao na isang text mo lang, reply agad

'Yung tipo ng tao na kukulitin ka kapag 'di ka na nagre-reply

'Yung tipo ng tao na kapag sinabihan mong "nalulungkot ako. I wanna die."

To the rescue ako para masiguradong okay ka lang

'Yung tipo ng tao na napa-paranoid kapag active ka 1 min. ago tapos 'di ka nag-chat sa akin

'Yung tipo ng tao na iniisip kung magagalit ka ba kapag may sinabi ako

Pero hindi mo ako mahal

Baka ako lang 'yung taong kayang saluhin lahat ng latak sa pagkatao mo

Kapag nagtatampo ka dahil nag-send ako ng jejemon text sa iyo

Kapag naiinis ka dahil nababa ko 'yung tawag mo

Kapag hindi ka mamamansin kasi hindi ako kumain sa tamang oras

Kapag naiinis ka sa pamangkin mo

Kapag nagagalit ka sa nanay mo

Kapag natatawa ka sa mga bagay na seryoso na halos ikamatay ko na kasi ang cool para sa'yo

Pero hindi mo ako mahal

Baka concerned ka lang

Pwede ka naman kasing maging concerned without romantic feelings attached, diba?

Kaya hindi mo ako mahal

Baka na-miss mo lang magkaroon ng girlfriend

Nagkataon, single ako at walang iniintindi

In short, available ako 

Available  na available

Pero hindi mo ako mahal

Ako na mismo ang nagsasabi

Hindi mo ako mahal

Pero baka mahal mo ako

Pero paano kung hindi?

Paano kung oo?

Bakit hindi? Bakit oo?

Mahal mo ba ako?

Mahal mo?

Mahal lang?

Ano ba ang mahal para sa'yo?

Ano ba ang pag-ibig para sa'yo?

Ano ba ako sa'yo?

Ano ba tayo?

May tayo ba?

Baka hindi mo nga talaga ako mahal

Baka nalilito ka lang

Baka importante lang ako

Pero hindi mahal

Hindi mo mahal

Hindi.

I AM NOT GOING TO PURSUE YOU

As a woman full of plans, dignity, love, and self-respect, the last thing that I would want to do is to pursue a guy. Just so we're clear here. Yes, I like you. BUT that does not give you a valid reason for me to pursue you. No, no, no. I told you weeks ago that I do like you and I'm still getting to know you to maybe like you even more. Just that. That is the only thing I can do, no, that is the only thing I want to do. I do not want to look thirsty for you or your attention. Though I must admit, I do like the attention you give me. You told me you love me, that quick. I already had my doubt, but I brushed it off because you may be saying the real thing, and I don't want to judge too quickly.

I need not to tell you this, but if you really love me, wouldn't being consistent a normal thing already? Wouldn't having to call/text me first already a thing? If you really love me, you would pursue me. Not because I told you, not because your mom said so, not because it is the norm, but because you love me. You would pursue me in your most modest and sincere way possible. You would pursue me because you make me wanna feel needed and loved. You would pursue me because you do not want me going anywhere, you don't want me being with someone else because you love me. You would pursue me because you do not want me begging for your attention and love all the time. You would pursue me because I am worth it. I should be worth it. I should be worth pursuing for.

I am not gonna pursue you because I have set my standards already. It is all clear to me that if a guy do not pursue you then, the problem's not with you, it's with him. I am not gonna pursue you because for the first time in my life, I wanna feel the feeling of being pursued. I am not gonna pursue you because for all its sake, I am still young and if you are not going to pursue me then I am confident that someone out there would do. I am not gonna pursue you because I already told you I like you and if I did not make myself clear to you that I am open to date you and that a little pursuing and getting-to-know-you days are all I need then, I don't know what will. I am not gonna pursue you because I know my worth and if I have to pursue you for you to see my worth, forget it, I don't need you.

So, let me tell you this,

I like you.

But I am not going to pursue you.

2015 TAUGHT ME

1. Never ever ever EXPECT. People can disappoint. I mean, I get disappointed with myself too so yeah.

2. You don't get to decide people's lives and their actions towards a situation. We are individuals.

3. Being selfish is okay especially if you always give yourself to people most of the time.

4. Always find time to be alone with you and your thoughts. 

5.  Do not give up on people easily. Make sure you have given your all before doing so.

6. Coffee sometimes may fail you.

7. School is not everything so are your grades.

8. Being fat is a choice. Make sure you are happy with what you choose.

9. Dogs are cute. Yes.

10. It is never too late to start something new.

11. Giving up some acad night to meet up with your friends at least once in a week is actually a good thing.

12. Isaw is love. <3

13. Lay's is again super love. <3

14. Always staying up late is not a good thing after all.

15. Looks are looks until you get to know the person.

16. Family should never be forgotten.

17. An escape from the noise of the city is a must at least once a year.

18. Watching cooking shows actually make me eat more. Deeeyyyum

19. Sam Concepcion is still handsome and talented.

20. Mornings are beautiful, but no. Still not a morning person.

21. Watching in movie houses alone is therapeutic.

22. Watching a concert alone is therapeutic too!

23. Keeping a planner does not help you sometimes.

24. Money can buy you something, but not everything.

25. Thoughtcatalog articles may break or make you.

26. You have to delete files on your computer. 

27. Pampering yourself is also a must. 

28. It's all in the mind.
29. People will change right after they saw how much their dumbness made a bad impact on you. Sometimes, it'll be too late, but hey, they still changed for the better so yeah, congrats!
30. Confronting people are the best way to get through the issue. Let's talk it out!
31. Boys will be boys. Men are matured boys.
32. You don't always have to do the first step.
33. Boys will self-pity to make you feel that they badly need your love. Men will show you how to love without sacrificing their self-esteem.
34. Happiness is a choice. Joy is always there, you just got to turn her on.
35. First, second, and third tries after that, rest. Then, get back up.
36. ALWAYS. DELETE. UNNECESSARY. FILES. ON. YOUR. DESKTOP. NOW.
37. It's hard to listen to that song because you have your own story behind it. So, don't incorporate beautiful, wholeheartedly written songs to your unstable relationship with a very unstable guy. It hurts.
38. 'I love you' can be said in different ways. It's up to you to notice it.
39. Never underestimate the power of random compliments, unplanned dates, awkward hugs, cheesy romantic lines, unexpected sweet messages, and incomparable exchange of laughs.
40. Eat right.
41. Always have a goal, no matter how dark and nonsense it is. Always have a goal.
42. Don't hold back your tears.
43. Quality over quantity. This one applies almost to everything!
44. Disconnect once in awhile from the internet and see what you have been missing in the real world.
45. A love of a mother is unconditional. Always unconditional.
46. If it hurts, sleep. If it still hurts in the morning you wake up, well at least, you slept. Lol
47. Fancy restaurants sometimes do not offer the best food in town. Make sure to check out the busy, dirty, and crowded side of the town for best food!
48. Christmas is more than giving things. It's also the season to let go people, memories, and feelings.
49. New Year is an indication that you made it. Congrats!
50. Life is indeed perfectly flawed.