Hey, Ocean

You know that feeling when you dip your feet into the ocean not knowing how deep it is? All you know is you want to do that, you want your feet to feel the water because why not? It sounds cool, it looks relaxing. Then, you don't realize how deep you have been. You've been very far from the shore and too far from the end, is there even an end? This is both deep and wide. How am I gonna make it out alive in the ocean? So I learned to swim. I've learned that it's fine to compromise sometimes. I swim, but the waves are unpredictable sometimes. For many times now, I've been swimming while this ocean keeps on throwing waves, but no, I do not give up because I did this first. I dipped my toes first so I have to accept this. I have to accept the fact that this ocean can bring me both pain and struggle and happiness in between. So I've become a great swimmer by now. I can now conquer this ocean's big waves, hell yeah, I even go above its waves. I'm doing great, I'm doing fine, I'm enjoying. Then suddenly, this unpredictable ocean with its unpredictable waves threw a big time wave. I saw it fast approaching right in front of me. I have nothing. I only have myself. Here it comes, here it comes. As it gets nearer to me, I start to think on why I did this first. Why did I even dipped my toes in this ocean? Why did I want to be in the ocean in the first place? I was doing fine without it. I was doing fine in the sand, why the hell risk my life here? Then boom! I've been hit. Where am I? The wave's done damaging me. Am I underwater? Was I thrown away into the shore? Am I still in the middle of the ocean? Is it calm now? The waves? Yes, it's done. Now, I've realized how big this ocean's wave can be. So I start swimming to go back to the shore, because that's where I belong in the first place. Hurry, I have to go back there before the next big wave comes. I got this. Now keep swimming. Swim with all my might to go back to the shore. I don't belong in the middle of the ocean. I don't deserve its waves. I've managed to conquer its waves, but no. Not all the time these waves can be managed, sometimes these waves can get bigger than me and then bigger and then bigger until I can't carry it anymore so I have no choice, I have to go back to the shore. I'm done with all these. I'm too tired conquering the waves, I'm too tired. You have always been the ocean and I have always been the swimmer. I need rest, even swimmers rest. Your waves never seem to rest and I don't know what to do anymore. So I'll be leaving. I'll be.

PARA SA TAONG "HEART OVER HEAD" ANG LAGING MANTRA

Dear Katawan ng Taong Ito,

K A T A N G A H A N. Isang malaking katangahan. Isang malaking katangahan 'yan. Kung laging iiral yang nararamdaman mo, sana naging puso ka na lang. Para tibok ka na lang nang tibok. Kasi, puro feelings lang diba? Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, puso ang tama. Hindi rin naman sa lahat ng pagakakataon, tama ang utak. Pero ang point ko kasi dito, hindi mo hahayaang pumangibabaw ang isa sa isa. Ipantay mo. Kapag ginagamit mo ang puso mo, isabay mo ang utak mo. Ganito ang magiging conversation nila:

PUSO: Crush ko siya!
UTAK: Bakit? Kasi pogi, matalino, mabait?
PUSO: Basta, crush ko siya!
UTAK: Kasi nga ano? Kahit isang rason lang! Ano?
TIYAN: Nak ng! Gutom lang 'yan, mga landiterang to!

Di naman talaga dapat kasama yung tiyan, sorry na. Pero diba, kapag may naramdaman ka, isipin mo naman kung bakit. Hindi yung arangkada na agad. Bakit mo nararamdaman? Tama bang nararamdaman mo yan? Mapapanindigan mo ba? Si puso kasi magaling yan sa pakiramdaman. Pwede yang magparamdam sa'yo ng libu-libong kalokohan para umasa kang mahal ka pa rin niya. Pero sa libu-libong yun, isa lang, isa lang ang mali. Kasi lahat, lahat yun tama. Oo, tamang hinala. Hindi, joke lang. Half ng ipaparamdam sa'yo, for sure, tama, half, mali. Si utak naman, maraming ibibigay na assumptions 'yan. Ipapa-isip niya sa'yo lahat ng posibilidad. Pwede pa kayo, kaya mo pa, hindi ka pa pagod, gutom ka lang, blah blah blah blah. Ngayon, kung isa lang diyan ang susundin mo, mabobobo ka. Matatanga ka. Ganun ka ba? Hindi diba. Kaya ikaw, bilang may-ari ng katawang 'yan, ay may karapatan na pag-usapin at kontrolin ang dalawang nag-aaway na kampo. Bigyan mo ng panahong marinig ang panig ni puso at ni utak pero wag mo namang hahayaan na sa huli, isa lang ang susundin mo. Pagsamahin mo ang opinyon ni utak at ni puso. For sure, meron diyang magko-compliment with each other. Pag nakuha mo na ang perfect match, yun na. Tsaka ka gumawa ng aksyon.

Ito ang tatandaan mo, kapag puso lang ang umiral, walang logic dun. Para ka lang sumunod sa ihip ng hangin kahit di mo naman talaga nakikkita kung saan siya papunta. Kapag utak lang ang nanalo, walang feelings yun. Para ka lang Rebisco na walang filling, hindi masarap, walang flavor, walang feelings. Kaya kailangan mo silang dalawa. Kailangan mo ang utak mo para sa logic at ang puso mo para sa feelings.  At kapag nangyari yun, congrats! Meron ka nang logical feeling.

Nagmamahal,
Bituka (ang laging malayo sa sugat)

To My Bestfriend's Ex-Boyfriend

Dear you,

You probably know by now that I hate you. Well, kind of. Not totally hate you, but at some point I did consider throwing you into the river and punch you until you drown. Not until I have heard your side of the story. I wanted my opinion to be non-biased and so here I am. Understanding that you still love her, I have already forgiven you. It still aches my heart when I stare at her smile, and see that it is different than before. Before she had you, before the pain, before the hurt. Don't worry, she still manage to laugh and hang-out with her friends without you. She had been doing that act too well. Yes, she's fine. No, she's not happy. She still thinks about you. You haunt her dreams, her reality, her life, her heart. She still mentions your name and talk about how good your cooking was. Sometimes, we talk about you getting wasted with your friends and then calling her to say nothing, but a sigh of drunkenness.I knew everything about you because of her stories. And you know what, her eyes get wet a little every time she mentions your name and her voice cracks every time she would talk about you. I've seen all of these. I have seen her being happy with you and now, sad because of you. But, as I have said, do not worry. She is okay. She was. And she will be. I guess, this is what the both of you need. A time to breathe fresh air. Realize and analyze everything that had gone wrong. Do it separately. Please be patient. As she is slowly moving on now from the heartbreak, the pain. 2 years and 7 months (or 8?) is a tough thing to get over with. Give yourselves time to mature. I respect your decision. I know, there is a reason behind it, and whatever it is, I know that you chose it because it is good for the both of you. Yup, I trust you enough to not be a selfish fool who only thinks of himself. I know, this is hard for the both of you. I know you are hurting too, but this time, I have to side with her. I have to stay with her, but you know, I'm always open to hear you as well. Please continue loving her from a distance. Please continue respecting her by not trash talking her just because you guys broke up. Please continue pursuing healing both for your heart and mind. I don't know what might happen in the future. You guys might get together or forever be separated. I really don't know, But whatever it is, I know it will happen for the good. I admit that she has improving to do and so are you. I admit, she is not perfect, she's sometimes impulsive, she shouts at you like her mother does, she tells you hurtful words, she made you feel unappreciated, but please know that she is aware of these. She is aware of the things she need to improve on. And maybe when she's done improving, maybe, just  maybe, she will not be that girl for you anymore. And for that, I will thank you in advance because you have taught her in the most painful way that love was supposed to hurt after all.

Love,
Her hurting bestfriend

It's There

At times, I don't feel like I'm needed anymore
I don't feel like I am worthy of anyone's time
I've become everybody's shock absorber
That when it's time for me to absorb my own
I cannot because I was done absorbing everybody's
Don't get me wrong
I don't blame people for choosing me to be their absorber
In fact, I am happy with that
It's just that
Lately, I have been suffocated with all of these
I don't want to not care
Bur I don't want to care so much
Because I get hurt twice as they are
And it lives with me
It haunts me before I go to sleep
It haunts me when I wake up
It haunts me when I'm eating
It basically haunts me everywhere, every time

Tanong Ng Sawi

Paano?
Paano mo nakakayang tabihan siya sa isang madilim na sulok
Habang nanunood ng paborito niyong pelikula
Samantalang mag-isa akong nakaupo sa sulok
Ng dilim at liwanag
Ng sakit at pait?
Paano mo nakakayang hawakan ang kamay niya habang hinihintay kita
Na saluhin ang puso kong nahulog, gumulong palayo
At gumulong muli pabalik sa'yo?

Saan?
Saan mo dadalhin ang puso kong naligaw
Kakahanap ng daan palayo sa iyo, sa atin?
Saan ako kakapit ngayong ikaw ay bumitaw?

Sino?
Sino ang lalapitan ko
Ngayong wala ka na sa piling ko?
Sino, sino ba ako ngayon sa'yo?

Kailan?
Kailan ko matatanggap na tapos na
Tayo, ikaw, ako?
Kailan ko matatanggap na iba na
Ang gusto mong kasama?
Kailan ko maiisip na huwag ka nang isipin?
Kailan ko maaalalang huwag kang alalahanin?

Ilan?
Ilang beses kong uumpugin ang sarili ko
Sa pader ng katotohanang, "Lintik, wala ka na"?
Ilang beses akong luluha
Bago ako malunod sa reyalidad na wala na tayo?
Ilang bote pa ang hahalikan ko
Para mawala ang pakiramdam ng labi mo sa utak
Kong masyado nang gamit na gamit kakaisip sa'yo?
Ilang history books pa ang babasahin ko
Hanggang sa matauhan akong hindi lang tayo ang may nakaraan?
Ilang kanta pa ang pakikinggan ko
Upang hindi ko na marinig ang ugong ng tinig mo
Dito sa puso at isip ko
Na walang ginawa kundi isipin at mahalin ka?

You Wanna Be

You wanna be loved the way you love
You wanna be held the way you hold
You wanna be hugged the way you hug
You wanna be kissed the way you kiss
You wanna be seen the way you see
You wanna be called the way you call
You wanna be owned the way you own
Tell me darling,
If you wanna feel how you make others feel
Shouldn't you be loving yourself
Instead of asking it from anyone else?

Wala Sa Kanila

Kung aasa ka lang sa ibang tao

Masasaktan ka

Mahihirapan ka

Maiinis ka

Kung hihintayin mong paligayahin ka ng iba

Maiinip ka

Mabuburyo ka

Mababadtrip ka

Huwag mong idepende

Ang kasiyahan at kalakasan mo sa iba

Hindi sila ang humihinga para sa'yo

Hindi sila ang nagpapalamon sa'yo

Hindi sila ang nagpinta ng buhay mo

Wala sa kanila ang saya at pag-ibig

Wala sa kanila ang huling tinig

Wala sa kanila ang lihim na iyak

Wala sa kanila ang sakit ng bawat yapak

Ikaw, ikaw ang nakakaramdam ng lahat

Ikaw ang nakakakita ng dapat

Ikaw ang nagbibigay kulay sa lahat

Ikaw lang

PANGAKO

Nangangako ako na kailanman ay hindi na ako huhugot pang muli. 
Bakit pa diba? E tapos na. Nagawa na. Nasaktan na. 
Para saan pa? Para ano pa?
Kung ang tanging mahuhugot ko lang naman din ay ang
malulungkot na ala-ala ng daang tinalikuran mo, 
ng daang tinalikuran natin. 
Pero baka maganda ring hugutin ko na 'to.
Kaya sa huling pagkakataon, mahal ko. 
Hayaan mong hugutin kita sa nakalipas at 
tuluyang ibaon ang pag-ibig na kumupas. 
Pangako, ito na ang huling pangakong ipapako ko. 
Pangako.

HOY, TAMAD. PARA SA'YO 'TO.

Bawal kang maging tamad. 

Hindi ka pwedeng tamarin. 

Hindi ka naman pagod e. 

Nag-aral ka lang naman. 

Umattend ka lang naman ng mga meetings. 

Nag-thesis ka lang naman. 

Kasi tamad ka. 

Tamad kang gawing proud ang mga magulang mo sa'yo kasi hello, lagi ka lang namang nasa school para sa events. 

Tamad kang magpursigi sa pag-aaral kasi tatlong kape lang naman ang nainom mo para manatiling dilat hanggang alas-singko ng umaga para matapos lahat. 

Kaya hindi ka pagod, tamad ka. At ang tamad, hindi napapagod. Kasi nga tamad, ano ba. 

Para sa'yo, para sa akin, na laging nasasabihang tamad, huwag kang mag-alala. 

Katawan lang natin ang tamad. 

Pero ni kailanman, hindi sila magkakaroon ng ideya kung gaano ka-sipag 

ang puso't isip natin na intindihin at mahalin sila. Diba ma?

KUNG HINDI NA, AKO PA RIN BA?

Minsan, naiisip ko, paano kung hindi na ako

Paano kung hindi ko na kaya

Paano kung hindi ko na gusto

Kung hindi na kita pwedeng isama sa mga lakad ko

Kung hindi na kita kayang ilibre sa Starbucks

Kung hindi na kita gustong dalhin sa Maginhawa

Ako pa rin ba?

Kung hindi na kita kayang pakainin ng pizza sa S&R

Kung hindi na kita kayang bilhan ng G-TEC 

Kung hindi na kita kayang bitbitin sa simbahan

Ako pa rin ba?

Ako pa rin ba ang pipiliin mo?

Ako pa rin ba ang mananaig?

Ako pa rin ba ang matitira?

Kung hindi na ako lahat ng ako ngayon

Ako pa rin ba ang pipiliin mo na makasama maghapon?

Isipin mo ako at ako lang

Hindi kasama ang pera, pag-aari at luho

Isipin mo ako at ang pagmamahal ko

Ako at ang mga kalokohan natin

Ako at ang mga pinagsamahan natin

Ako at ang mga pinag-awayan natin

Kung ito na lamang ang matitira

Ako pa rin ba?

I-GOOGLE MO

Hindi naman ako matalino
Pero bakit ako lagi ang takbuhan
Kapag may assignment na kailangang tapusin?
Kapag may project na kailangang gawin?
Bakit ako?

Tulad mo
Ngayon, heto ka
Pagkatapos mo akong saktan at iwan sa loob ng apat na linggo nating pagsasama
Nag-messgae ka sa FB
Nag-self pity ka pa
Nag-reply naman ako
Naawa ako e
Wala kang kausap
Maya-maya, nakuha mo ang loob ko
Nakuha mo na naman

Tapos ka na sa self-pity
Na-segue mo na gumagawa ka ng comparative analysis sa Phil. Lit. subject mo
Ako, gumagawa ng thesis
Maya-maya, pinapa-search mo na sa akin kung ano ang pangalan ng Donya
Sa isang kwentong nabasa mo

Hindi ako nag-reply
Akala mo tulog na ako?
Hindi, gising ako
Gising na gising na sa katotohanan
Sa katotohanan na hanggang sa huli
Gagamitin at gagamitin mo lang din ako

Kota ka na sa akin kasi ako rin gumawa ng pledge mo para sa Filipino subject mo
Mukha mo, pero hindi ko hahanapin yang donyang yan
Manigas ka sa kakahanap kung sino siya

Hindi ko gagawin yan
Hindi na
Hindi na ako magpapagamit sa paraang ako lang ang dehado
Hindi na
Hindi na ako magpapa-uto sa mga paawa mo
Hindi na
Hindi ko na pipiliting kumalma pag kausap ka
Dahil mukha mo, hindi na kita kakausapin ulit
Hindi na

I-Google mo kung gaano ka kabastos
Kung gaano ka ka-selfish
Kung gaano ka ka-user friendly
Kung gaano ka ka-plastic
Kung gaano ka ka-bitter sa buhay
Kung gaano kasakit ang iwan
Kung gaano kasakit ang sukuan

Hindi naman talaga ako matalino e
Pero kaya siguro ako ang laging takbuhan
Kapag may assignment o project kasi ako lagi ang dapat na magtapos
Magtapos ng kwento - ng kwento nating dalawa
Kaya tapos na
Wala na
Hindi na

Pero dahil huli na 'to
Sige, magpapakabait na ako
Ako na ang nag-Google para sa'yo
Ng mga kailangan mo, mukha mo
A. Donya Julia
B. Matapobre: n. ref. to wealthy people who look down on, or oppress the poor (http://tagalog.pinoydictionary.com/search/matapobre/)

I MISS YOU

Nag-text ka sa akin kagabi, ang sabi mo "I miss you"
E bakit, sino ba ang nang-iwan?
Sino ba ang umalis?
Sino ba ang sumuko?
Sino ba ang nagsabing "huwag na muna"?

Huwag mong sasabihing "I miss you"
Kasi ikaw ang umalis
Ikaw ang sumuko
Ikaw ang nagsabing "huwag na muna"

Kapag ikaw ang nang-iwan
Kapag ikaw ang umalis
Kapag ikaw ang sumuko
Huwag ka nang bumalik
Huwag ka nang magbait-baitan

Ikaw ang umalis
Ikaw ang sumuko
Ikaw ang nang-iwan
Ikaw ang nagsabing "huwag na muna"
Ikaw ang nakasakit

Kaya huwag, huwag mong sasabihing "I miss you"
Kasi ikaw ang umalis
Ikaw ang sumuko
Ikaw ang nagsabing "huwag na muna"

SIGE

'Sige', isang salita, libu-libong pakiramdam

Ang sarap pakinggan sa tainga

Dahil sige ang salita ng pagpayag

Sige ang salita para sa pwede

Kain tayo sa labas! "Sige!"

Inom tayo! "Sige!"

Punta tayo sa Japan! "Sige!"

Nood tayo ng sine! "Sige"

Sige, sige, sige

Pero alam mo, masakit din pala

Ang sakit makarinig nun minsan

Pero mas masakit bitawan ito

Noong sinabi ko sa'yong "sige"

Nasaktan ako, ang sakit pala

Sige kasi pumapayag na ako

Pumapayag na ako na umalis ka

Sige kasi pumapayag na ako na saktan mo ako

Sige kasi matatanggap ko naman 

Sige kasi yun ang gusto mo

Sige kasi ayaw na kitang pigilan

Sige rin ba ang gusto mong marinig?

Sige rin ba ang hinihintay mo?

Sige, sasabihin ko ulit

"Sige, makakaalis ka na."

ITO AY PARA SA'YO PART II

Siguro natutuwa ka ngayon
Kasi may tula na naman ako para sa'yo
Nak ng! Huwag kang matuwa
Ramdamin mo ang bawat salita
Bawat sakit ng letra
Huwag kang ngumiti
Huwag mong ipagmalaki

Huwag mong ipagmalaki na baliw na baliw ako sa'yo
Huwag mong ipagmalaki na ikaw na naman ang laman nito
Na tungkol na naman sa'yo ito
Pero sige, para matuwa ka
Sige, para sa'yo ito
Sisimulan ko na, ha?

Akalain mong ikaw na naman?
Pang-ilan na ba 'to?
Taragis, 'di ko na mabilang
E paano ba naman kasi
Hindi ko na rin mabilang yung sakit
Sakit na dinulot mo

Akalain mong umiyak ako?
Umiyak ako buong gabi
O, huwag mong sasabihing ikaw din
Huwag kang gaya-gaya, kapal mo
Ako, ako ang iniwan
Ang selfish pero oo, ako
Ako, ako, ako

Akalain mong hindi pa rin kita makalimutan?
Ilang linggo na ah?
Ikaw pa rin?
Pag minamalas nga naman oh!

Sinaktan mo ako
Iniwan
Sinukuan

Ginusto kitang intindihin
Ginusto kitang makilala
Pero wala e
Umalis ka kaagad

Pero ayos lang
Sakto lang
Sanay na

Salamat

PAGTALIKOD

Kapag nakasakit ka ng tao
Huwag mong sabihin na wala kang kwenta
Wala kang kwenta kaya nakakasakit ka
Huwag, huwag ganun
Lugi naman

Kapag nakasakit ka
Humingi ka ng tawad
Patawad kasi nasaktan mo
Patawad kasi dinamay mo
Dinamay mo sa pagiging walang kwenta mo

Ayan tuloy
Pakiramdam niya
Wala na rin siyang kwenta
Pakiramdam niya
Patapon na siya

E paano, tinapon mo
Pinakawalan mo
Pinatangay mo

Pero baka mabuti na rin yun
Mas masarap ang makawala
Ang mawalay
Mawalay sa taong hindi ka pinapahalagahan
Sa taong gusto ka kasi pinapasaya mo siya
Sa taong mahal ka kasi ikaw na lang ang nagmamahal sa kanya


Ganoon talaga siguro kapag nakakasakit ka
Humihingi ka talaga ng tawad
Pero kasabay ng paghingi nito
Ay ang pagtalikod mo
Sa mga pangako na iyong binuo

ITO AY PARA SA'YO PART I

Ginawan kita ng tula
Hindi para magpa-cute
Hindi para ipakita sa'yo na magaling ako
Kundi para iparamdam sa'yo
Na tapos na
Na wala na
Na nasaktan mo na

Ilang beses mo nang sinabi ang katagang "I miss you"
Ilang beses mo na akong nasabihan ng "I love you"
Ilang beses mo nang binitawan ang mga salitang "Akin ka lang"
Naniwala ako sa lahat ng iyon
Naniwala ako na pwede
Naniwala ako sa baka
Naniwala ako sa sana

"Huwag na muna" sabi mo
"Ititigil niya na?" sabi ko sa sarili ko
Masakit
Kumirot
Nakakaiyak
Pakiramdam ko tumigil yung mundo ko
Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko
Naluha ang mga mata ko
Kaya "sige" lang ang nasabi ko

Salamat sa mumunting sakit
Salamat sa malamig na yakap
Salamat sa mga hilaw na pangako

Ginawan kita ng tula
Hindi para magpa-cute
Hindi para ipakita sa'yo na magaling ako
Kundi para iparamdam sa'yo
Na tapos na
Na wala na
Na nasaktan mo na

IKAW

rebloggy.com

Siya.
Siya ba?
Alam ba niya?

Alam ba niya na ayaw mo ng pinya sa pizza?
Alam ba niya na hindi ka naniniwala sa third eye?
Alam ba niya na hindi ka natatawa sa knock knock jokes?
Siya, alam ba niya?

Alam ba niya na mahilig ka sa Yakult?
Alam ba niya na Santolan ang favorite station mo?
Alam ba niya na GMRC ang favorite subject mo?
Siya, alam ba niya?

Alam ba niya na nasaktan ako nang lumisan ka?
Alam ba niya na para sumaya siya, kinailangan mo akong limutin?
Alam ba niya na ang dahilan ng pagluha ko ngayon ay ikaw?
Ikaw, alam mo ba?

Alam ba niya na habang hawak niya ang mga kamay mo
Ay hawak ko naman ang puso kong durog
Na dahan-dahan kong binubuo
Ikaw, alam mo ba?

Alam ba niya na sa bawat yakap mo
Ay siya namang patuloy na panlalamig ng puso ko?
Ikaw, alam mo ba?

Ikaw, ikaw pa ba?
Oo, ikaw pa.
Alam mo ba?

KUNG KAKAUSAPIN KITA ULIT

Hi, sana.
Oo, ikaw sana.
Sana kasi naghintay ka
Sana nagtiis ka
Sana hindi ka bumitaw agad
Sana tumagal ka
Sana natuloy yung sanang tayo

Sana pinakita mo
Sana pinaramdam mo
Sana naramdaman ko
Sana nakita ko
Sana natuloy yung sanang tayo

Sana nandito ka
Sana hanggang ngayon, may sanang tayo
Sana nagtiis ako
Sana nagtagal ako
Sana pinaramdam ko
Sana pinakita ko
Sana natuloy yung sanang tayo

Pero baka hindi talaga tayo
Baka wala talagang tayo
Baka masayang lang ang oras natin kakahintay
Baka masayang lang ang oras natin kakaparamdam
Baka masayang lang ang oras natin kakatiis
Baka hindi talaga matutuloy yung sanang tayo

Sana hindi tayo hanggang sana lang
Pero baka nga
Baka nga tayo





Sana.

THE ALMOST

Today, I met you
I was amazed on how easy was it
We walked, we don't know where we're going
But we walked anyway
We talked, we don't know what to say next
But we talked anyway
Today, I met you.

Today, I met you
We held hands, not knowing why
But we held hands anyway
We walked, we know where we're going
But we're unsure if it's the right path
Today, I met you.

Today, I met you
Talked about the future
Talked about the interests we both have
Talked about the silly things
And today, I knew you.

Today, I knew you
You liked that peanut butter so much
You wake up early in the morning
At least earlier than I do
You go home late
Because you just hate everyone in there
And today, I knew you.

Today, I knew you
You don't like it when I don't change clothes for three days
You don't like it when somebody blames you for something you did not do
You don't like it when people don't respect you for you
And today, I knew you.

Today, I lost you
Just how easy I had you
I knew you
But I did not know this would happen
I thought I can be the game-changer
I thought you would not leave
I thought I will not lose you
But today, I lost you.

Today, I lost you
And today, I cry for the memories
For the what could have been's
For the what-if's
For the if-ever's
For the almost
The almost us
The almost you
The almost me
Because today, I lost you

Funny how I lost you
When I almost had you at the beginning
But then again today, I lost you.

#SEPANX

OJT life welcomed me with a big hurrah in the face! :) It was overwhelming! But thank God for these beautiful people, internship was less harder :)

My co-interns!! Hooray! I love you guys! You know I could not have done this whole internship thing without you two! Squad goals at its finest! Hahaha! I am so proud of what we have done! Little misunderstandings here and there, but we still managed to get through it! Hooray! :) I love you both!! <3 Thank you for making this internship less harder than it is! The internship was less hard because I got to see your faces everyday! Plus, we had the best bonding moments inside the office! I will forever treasure the little talks (sometimes none at all haha), the lunch talks and the "I'm-so-tired-I-might-puke" conversations. Hahaha! Thank you for everything!! I am so proud of the three of us because we successfully accomplished everything that we needed to! Hooray! :) I will cherish the simple moments we spent during the internship! :)

Sir Niño! The first person I met in the office! Thanks for giving me  a "chill' interview before entering into the OJT life! Hahaha! I thought I would not pass, but then I did! Yey! Haha! I might not get to talk to you that much during my stay, but I want to thank you for always looking after me and my co-interns! I will never forget your never-ending laughter (na umaabot sa loob ng office kahit nasa labas ka na haha) Thank you sir! :)

Miss Me-an! Thank you for teaching me how liquidation works and for giving me my reimbursements! Haha! You always do your work seriously and seriously haha! Thank you for being such a kindhearted woman you are, miss Me-an! :) See you soon!! :)

Miss Debbie! :) Yehey! Thank you miss Debbie for appreciating my works. Though I must admit that even though some of the tasks were easy, I still could not perfect it. But thank you anyway for appreciating everything! :)

Hi there, Miss Jam! :) Thank you for every help you gave though I did not get the chance to work with you that much, I am still thankful that I have known you. I am always starstruck whenever you would start to talk about things that really matter like social justice, youth awareness, and the likes, see you soon, miss! :)

Miss Janice! You have been my mother all throughout my internship and with that, I am grateful, hehe!  Thank you for your yummy lutong ulam always! I will never forget the songs you play while working!  :)

Miss Jo! The very beautiful and calm HR of the office. Haha! Thank you so much for the guidance! You are always a "Miss Jo, paano po ito?" away. :) Also, thank you for listening to every rant we had during the internship and for celebrating our victory with us! I will miss you miss! :)

Miss Tiff! Well, well. Haha! Thank you for every single thing you have taught me. You are really one tough of a woman! :) I will never forget that Makati adventure we had! :) Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience how it feels like to work in the real world. Thank you for inspiring me through your stories and for sharing with me your favorite series as well! (The West Wing which speaking of I should start downloading by now haha) =)) Thank you, thank you!! :) I hope to see you soon miss! :)

Miss Ace! The one person I did not get the chance to take a selfie with :( Haha! Thank you! Thank you for always being so supportive and caring. I will forever treasure your jokes and "pang-aasar" =)) TBI. TBI. Haha! I will always remember your trim tabs story and I promise to share it to someone someday hehe!  :) Thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow as an individual and for letting me realize my own mistakes. Thank you for being so honest and a down-to-earth boss :) See you soon, miss Ace! :)

Sir Likha, Miss Cecile, Sir Michael, Sir Chard, Sir Dion, Sir Darren, Sir JC and the rest of the people in the office, thank you so much!! :) I am so proud that for once in my life, I was a part of this family. Hooray for these beautiful people!! :)

Also, thank you to our ever supporting professors/OJT coordinators at school! Sir David and Ms. Lao make a pretty good team! Thank you for visiting us Sir and Miss! :)

And of course, the experience and everything nice is all because of God! Thank you Lord for this wonderful internship I had!! :)

Thank you, thank you! :)